


For your eyes only I'll show you my heart

by GoNEF



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bonding, M/M, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6138442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoNEF/pseuds/GoNEF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the annivasary of Uncle Ben's death Peter is found on the roof thinking how it was all his fault, Wade shows up and the two start talking about anything and everything they could think of, just to keep Peter's mind off his uncle's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For your eyes only I'll show you my heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is for tearsofskydust of tumblr for the spideypool secret santa I hope you like it and it came out as you have hoped ^^

Manhattan, New York. The place that has been targeted countless of times, the place that he has been protecting with his life since he was sixteen. [Peter](http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/image/upload/c_fill,h_700,w_495/t_mp_quality/10-reasons-andrew-garfield-is-the-best-spiderman-is-there-a-spiderman-better-than-andrew-317524.jpg) has been protecting this city for as long as he could remember, and what did it get him? Enemies wanting to spill his blood, the law wanting to arrest him, and him wondering if he would live to see the morning sun. He took a deep breath as he gazed at the city before him. 

He shouldn't be out here alone, at least not on this day. Outta of all days today should be the one day he's surrounded by the people that love him, but he wasn't. He was alone and if he was honest he wanted to be alone. He didn't want to see his Aunt May, he didn't need to see her fake smile, her putting on a brave face for his sake when he knew all she wanted to do was cry. 

He wished she would do something, wished that she would blame him for the death of Uncle Ben, she never did. She would always comfort him and let him know it wasn't his fault.

But he knew better, he knew that it was his fault, he knew that because of him Uncle Ben was dead. If he didn't ask for the ride to the "library" he would still be around.

_His fault._

If he had stopped the shooter when he passed by him at the store Uncle Ben wouldn't have been shot.

_His fault._

His anger at the clerk was the reason why the shooter escape and did what he did, if he would have just stopped being bitter and stopped the robber Uncle Ben would have still been alive.

_His fault._

It was all his fault, he had no one to blame but himself.

"Baby boy?"

Peter jumped at the sound of a soft yet tender voice. He smiled just a little beneath his mask at the ridiculous nick name that he gave him.

[Wade](http://cdn.indiewire.psdops.com/dims4/INDIEWIRE/0160c0e/2147483647/thumbnail/680x478/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdl9fvu4r30qs1.cloudfront.net%2F98%2Fed%2F7e2021734514be241cb0f1c38837%2Fdeadpool-2713197.jpg) had been walking aimlessly around the city, and by walking he meant trying to find his baby boy.

He checked his house at his Aunt's but he wasn't there, he then went to the cemetery to see if by any chance he would be visiting the grave of his uncle but he wasn't there. A part of him was beginning to worry for the young hero.

He knew what this day meant for Peter, he understood the kind of pain that it brought to his heart and he knew that Peter should not be alone on this day. After searching everywhere for the young hero he decided to go and see if he was at their roof, the one were the two shared many talks and secrets with one another. Turns out that he should have went there in the first place.

"Hi Wade," Peter said softly not bothering to turn around and face the mercenary and continue to face the city before him.

Wade stared at Peter, it has been a while since Peter has shared his secret with Wade and vice versa. The roof was a special place for the two so it was no secret that Peter would be at the one place where he could just let all his tears and frustration without having to have his love ones worried about him.

Wade began to fidget a bit, he didn't like it when Peter was silent, especially on this day, Wade knew Peter well enough that he was filled with anger and self hate, something he shouldn't be feeling, he should be happy, he should be-

"Wade?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you...do you..." taking a deep breath Peter asks,

"Have you ever blamed yourself for something that wasn't your fault but you knew deep down it was?"

Wade stared at the young man, while a huge part wanted to laugh at the ridiculous question he knew better than to say anything, Peter was opening up to him and it would be a huge mistake if Wade started laughing at the question, even though the hero knew the answer to that question.

"Baby boy, I have a shit ton of things that are my fault that I know that I am to blame and no one else,"

"But have any of those things broken you to the point that you have to always wear a mask?"

"What do you mean?"

“I mean have you ever done something that broke you to the point that you no longer believe anyone, including yourself, that it isn’t your fault?”

“Yeah…I did,”

Peter waited for Wade to finish,

“My daughter, I umm…when I found out I had one I abandon her because I genuinely thought she deserved better than me. Sadly people found out about her and targeted her in order to get to me. They succeeded and killed her. Captain America and Logan had to literally drag me away from her body,”

 “I’m sorry,”

“So am I,” he wasn’t talking about Ellie’s death, he was talking about Ben’s death and Peter’s guilt.

“Wanna tell me what brought that on?”

Peter took a deep breath, he was about to share something important with Wade, something he's never shared with anyone.

"I'm Spider-man, that means that I am a hero but..."

Peter lifted his his head as he stared into the blinding lights of the city.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. The fighting, risking my life for a city that blames me for something I am not, smiling and acting that I'm fine when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I smile and act like I’m fine when I’m Peter Parker, I act brave and use sarcasm as a defensive mechanism when I am Spider-man. No matter who I am, I am always wearing a mask.

Wade stared at the hero before him. He didn't blame Peter for thinking the way he did, hell he was still a kid. He just turned 18 last week and he has been fighting and saving this city for two years, trying to do good with his powers.

"Spidey-"

"And Aunt May, she's always worrying about me, wondering what I'm doing, if I'm on drugs or something like that. Gwen and I are having arguments every day. She's always asking me where I am or if I am with someone else,"

"Why don't you just tell them the truth?" Wade asked.

"That you are Spider-man and that every night your saving the city,"

Peter gave off a bitter laugh.

"Really Wade? That's your answer?"

"If it means that you would no longer have to hide from them,"

"It's not that simple, if I tell them...aunt May would worry about me and Gwen...she'll probably slap me and tell me what the hell am I thinking risking my life, they wouldn't understand,"

Before Wade could intervene and tell him he was wrong Peter continued,

"And let's say I do tell them, what would happen if they are kidnapped? What happens if someone decides to go after them because they know who is beneath the mask and someone uses them for information me? Plus if they knew Gwen would probably try to help me and put her life in danger, if something were to happen to her...I don't know what I would do,"

"Okay, I was going to say that you aren't giving them enough credit or how you don't know if whether or not they'll understand but after you spoke again and brought up the fact that they'll risk their lives for you, I guess I understand where you are coming from,"

"Yeah,"

The two were silent for a few moments, the two felt a gentle breeze running through them, both wondering what to say.

"Hey Wade?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you a mercenary?"

"Umm...because..."

"The truth Wade, none of the bullshit that you usually feed me,"

Wade stared at Peter's back, before he could say another thing Peter turned to face Wade and remove his mask.

“Honesty hour Wade,” Peter said staring at Wade’s eyes.

“Why did you become a mercenary and what exactly does it mean to you to be one?”

Wade stared at Peter and knew what that meant, since discovering who was underneath the mask the two decided to create something call honesty hour were they each would remove their masks and for one whole hour they would tell each other the honest truth; no lies, no bullshit, just the honest truth.

Wade took a deep breath before he removed his own mask.

“Honesty hour,”

The truth was Wade was always scared to remove his mask in front of Peter, he didn’t want to show his face to him but when he did he was insecure about it, scared that Peter would run for the hills like most people did.

Peter wouldn’t lie, at first he was a bit scared at Wade’s face but in time he got used to it, it took a while for Peter to stop staring at his face and even longer to get use to it.

In the end he got used to seeing Deadpool’s face and Wade got used to removing his mask in front of Peter.

“The reason why I am a mercenary is because…well I started off because of my father,”

Peter nodded his head, he knew about Wade’s father and how he treated Wade.

“He was an asswhole, so I guess when I first started killing I did it to protect people. In my eyes if I could kill off a few bad guys then the world would be just a little more safer,”

“Wade, you can’t kill someone to protect someone,”

“Why?”

“Because killing is wrong,”

“But why can’t I kill someone and still be good?”

“Because Wade taking a life doesn’t solve anything, it just makes the situation worse,”

“How?”

“How what?”

“How would me killing someone make the situation wrong?”

“Because Wade you’re not God, you can’t just stoop to their level and do the same thing as they do,”

“And the cops can?”

Peter froze at his spot, knowing were the conversation was going.

“Wade-“

“The cops claim to be heroes and yet they are out there killing innocent people all because of the color of their skin, tell me Peter if I’m the bad guy because I kill people for money what does that make the cops? The people who swore to protect the innocent but kill them just for breathing?”

Peter was speechless, he could honestly say he didn’t know what to say to that.

“Plus all your heroes have once killed,”

“By accident,” he added weakly.

“Answer me this Peter, how can you call yourself a hero if you save a life by taking one?”

Peter stood there, staring into the eyes of Wade, unsure of what to say.

“Being a mercenary, at first it was for me to save people, I only killed people who I believe deserve to die, you and everyone can see it as a horrible thing but if I am honest I truly don’t care, we all have different views of what is wrong and what is right, what I do and how I did it back then was what I saw as something being right,”

He took a deep breath before he continued.

“I know that most people don’t like what I do and if they don’t then they don’t. I kill people for money, and I do it not just because I am good at it but because being a mercenary gives me purpose, up until I met you Spidey I was a killer. Someone who killed for a paycheck and what not. I guess what it means to be a mercenary to me, it means being alive. Having a reason to live.”

“But you have a new reason to live for…right?”

Wade laughed,

“I guess, I mean I try to save people’s lives the same way you and the avengers do,”

“So what’s the problem? If you are trying that has got to count for something right?”

“Old habits die hard kid,”

Peter knew what he meant, he tried to be good, but he sometimes slipped up every once in a while.

“Right,”

The two allowed a moment of time pass by before Peter said,

“I’m sorry that I…that I tried to guilt trip you into hating who you are, you’re a mercenary, and no matter how much I wish you weren’t it’s who you are, a part of you like Yellow and White are a part of you,”

Wade smiled a little.

“I mean; I don’t like it. Not one bit but…sometimes…some of us see the world in black and white that we often forget there’s shades of grey and I guess the way you see the world is different than how I see it,”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I see it full of hope, that there’s good in this world, and that I am fighting for something that is right. You on the other hand, you are full of hope but you don’t let that hope blind you from how cruel this world truly is. You’ve seen things and done things that would make most men fall to their knees and beg for the end. You are a fighter,”

“We both are fighters,”

“But only one of us is a survivor,”

The two were silent for a moment, they seem to be doing a lot of that.

“Why do you say that?”

“Say what?”

“Say that I am a survivor,”

“Like I said you’ve been through a hell that I would never begin to understand, if I try to explore it I would probably get lost and lose my own sanity, you keep fight Wade, even when the world screws you over you still keep going, you’re a survivor, whether you believe me or not,”

Wade was speechless, he honestly didn’t know what to say to that. The fact that Peter was able to see right through him made him feel like their talks weren’t a waste of time and effort. He smiled a little shy smile and said,

“Thank you for being understanding,”

“I try,”

The two laugh a little.

“Peter?”

“Yeah Wade?”

“You are not your mask; you know that right?”

“This coming from the guy who’s always wearing one?”

“Hey I have every right to wear one, I mean come on, would you want to see this face twenty-four/seven?”

Peter laughed a little at Wade’s attempt to make him laugh.

“I wouldn’t mind but I think you might scare the little kids if they saw you like that,”

“Exactly,”

The two smile before Wade continued.

“Look, my point is you are not your mask, meaning that you don’t always have to be alone…or hide behind one,”

“Wade-“

“It’s okay to be weak and it’s okay to cry you know,”

“I’m not sure if I am strong enough to cry,” Peter said looking at the ground.

“Despite my disguise,”

“Maybe not right now you are not, but one day you will be,”

Peter lifted his head and smiled at him, not the huge grin that Wade was used to, just a soft one, It’ll do, for now.

“You know…you don’t have to bottle your hurt all the time right?”

Wade flinched a little,

“Peter- “

“No, Wade listen; I don’t think you know how much these talks mean to me. You’re one of my closest friends, I guess you’re my shoulder…someone to lean on when I need to lean on someone,”

He looked at Wade’s shocked expression.

“You’re there to save the hero, but who’s there to save you?”

Wade snapped out of his expression before he just laughed.

“Aww Petey, no one has to save me, I honestly can say that I don’t need any saving,”

“Liar,” Peter said fondly before the two just laughed, Wade then walked over to Peter as the two lean against the roof top, watching the city go by, the world moving forward, people getting on with their lives.

“Wade?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks,”

“For what?” he asked looking at the young man who in turn faced him.

“For being here for me,”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” they exchange smiles before they turned to face the city once more.

“Hey Wade?”

“Yeah Pete?”

“…What do you want in life?”

Wade turned to face Peter, giving him a confuse expression.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…what do you want for your future? Is there anything specific that you always wanted but never had?”

Peter turned to face Wade who had a nosglatic expression.

Wade thought about what Peter asked, there was one thing that Wade wanted, something that no amount of money could buy.

 _“To be happy,”_ sadly he just wasn’t ready to share that with Peter, not yet at least.

“Nahh, not really,” he answered.

He looked at the hero before him.

“You?”

Peter flinched a little as he turned his gaze away from Wade’s.

He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Wade that little secret. He’s already shared enough secrets for one night, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to share that part of his life just yet.

“Just want to make sure I pass high school and I am successful,” he said.

Wade smiled sadly, knowing that the boy was lying but chose not to comment, instead the two stared up at the dark sky, wishing that they could see the stars.

“I hope that your plans and wishes for the future come true baby boy,”

Peter smiled as he and Wade lock eyes with one another.

“I do to Wade; I hope your dreams come true. Thanks by the way,”

“For what?”

“For being here, with me. On this day especially,”

Wade just waved him off.

“Ahh don’t worry about it,” he wanted to say something witty and sarcastic but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. Peter just laughed as the two continue to stare into the night sky, each lost in their own thoughts.

_“All I want for the future…is to be happy…”_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is to your liking ^^


End file.
